Time for Torture!
by Mystical Authoress
Summary: What happens when a certain fanfiction author decides to put the cast of Count Cain: Godchild in a show that gets them tortured? Chaos ensues. THIS IS NOT A TRUTH OR DARE FIC! See the first chapter for details on this.
1. Episode 1

Time for Torture!

**Author note: I do not own 'Count Cain: Godchild.' Nor do I own any of the characters.**

**To make this clear, this fic is _NOT_ a Truth or Dare fic in which you can submit truths and dares through reviews and stuff. I myself am going to think of all the tortures to inflict upon the characters, mainly because ...**

**1. I would technically be breaking the rules of fanfiction if I allowed this to become a Truth or Dare fic, namely rule number 5 of 'Entries not Allowed' in the Rules and Guidelines. **

_**AND**_

**2. That would not be good for any of us if I did break the rules, because I would be suspended or banned, and all my fics would be deleted. **

**If I even see ONE review suggesting any 'truths and dares,' I will delete it, so don't bother submitting any. Got it?**

**Warning: Violence, mentioned swearing, randomness, insults, probably lots of OOCness, self-insert (yes people, I'm in this fic because I'm doing the torture upon the characters), and probably lots of mentioned pairings or actual pairings.**

**I hope you people read and enjoy! Thanks!**

Episode 1

"IT'S _**TIME FOR TORTURE! **_With your host, Mystical Authoress!" the announcer shouted from the loudspeakers.

The crowd cheered as fog covered the entire stage. A figure cloaked in black emerged at the left side of the stage out of nowhere, waving. If one looked carefully, they could see the figure's colour-changing eyes, from dark green to light blue to purple, and so on...

"Welcome...to **Time for Torture**." The figure spoke in an evil voice. "I am Mystical Authoress, and on this show, you guys get to see your favourite or not-so-favourite characters get tortured! Whether it's being hung upside down over a tank of piranhas or getting scared out of their wits, we've got it all..._MWAHAHAHAHAHA_-aack! Ow...aargh..." the fanfiction author coughed a few times after attempting an evil laugh. "Okay, I obviously need to work on that."

A spotlight came up on a rectangular black box which was the about the size of four portable toilets put together. "This thing is basically what I'd like to call the _Box of Illusions_." Mystical continued. "The people that are going to get tortured are put in this device, and we get to watch what happens to them on a video screen." A large black video screen emerged from the ceiling. "Whatever happens in there isn't real, so it's not like the characters are going to get killed or anything like that in real life, because that would be too cruel." The video screen disappeared at the snap of the author's fingers.

"Okay, now onto the characters. For this episode specifically, I figured we should start with some familiar people, namely, the people one writes about most in their fanfics, or at least in the Count Cain: Godchild category. So...give a great big welcome to Cain Hargreaves, Riffael Raffit, Jizabel Disraeli, Cassian, and Maryweather Hargreaves!"

The crowd cheered as the five mentioned characters appeared onstage, tied to chairs (as they kept TRYING to escape earlier before the started).

"Big brother...why are we here again?" Maryweather groaned, trying to get loose from her chair.

"Mister or Miss Authoress, Lord Cain demands that you let us go this instant." Riff spoke to Mystical, trying his best to stay calm. "I do not understand why we should be on this show and why we're getting tortured."

"The answer is obvious, Riff." Mystical responded, pointing at the audience. "There's CainxRiff fangirls and JizabelxCassian fangirls everywhere. And I'm sure there's at least a couple fangirls that like OscarxMaryweather, CassandraxJizabel, and CainxJizabel, too. And besides that...well...yeah. It's basically for the sake of the fangirls."

"I LOVE YOU CAIN AND RIFF!" a fangirl screamed, trying to climb onstage. One of the security guards dragged her out of the room as she continued shouting. "YOU TWO ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!"

Cain and Riff went pale at that remark as Cassian gagged slightly.

"Me with OSCAR!? **NO!**" Maryweather shouted in protest. "He's a ridiculous fop, you hear me!?"

"WHAAAAT!?" Oscar was heard crying out from the audience. "Mary! I love you!"

"_REJECTED!_" all the other characters sitting with the audience sang.

"Shut up!"

"Everyone calm down already!" Mystical shouted through a megaphone. Everyone else went silent immediately. "Thank you. I thought up all the tortures myself, before you ask, and so...let's get on with the show!" the fanfiction author proclaimed, throwing aside the megaphone.

"Mystical?" everyone turned to Jizabel, who had spoken up. "Are you female...or male...or an it? I'm just wondering..."

"Well...I'm a shift-shaper, doctor, so you could technically call me an it." Mystical responded. "Expect me to be this cloaked form most of the time."

"What sort of things can you shift-shape into?"

"Well...I could transform into Cassandra, or Alexis, or Cain, or Riff, or anyone else, really. There's not limit to that ability. I could even become a gigantic blob that eats anything I wanted to."

"Prove it." Alexis' voice spoke from the audience.

"Fine." The fanfiction author glowed with an immense light before it faded, revealing a large, dark green blob with crimson eyes, glaring at the Cardmaster. Its gooey mouth opened with a maw of silvery teeth, sharper than any sword in existence, and the blob let out a roar. Some filmy saliva dripped the creature's mouth and onto the floor.

"Okay, OKAY! JUST TURN BACK TO NORMAL!" Alexis screeched in a falsetto, curling up into the fetal position. "I won't question you any further..."

"Disgusting." Cassandra commented, glancing at the small pool of saliva. "Although I do admit that ability to change one's form is somewhat impressive..."

"Okay, NOW we're getting on with the show." Mystical spoke, having changed back to the cloaked form. "We're going to shove Cain, Riff, Jizabel, Cassian and Maryweather into the Box of Illusions. Security, you know what to do."

The security guards immediately carried the protesting five into the Box before closing the door and locking it.

The video screen appeared from the ceiling before flicking on.

"Now...let us witness the chaos."

_Jizabel, Cain, Cassian, Riff and Maryweather stared around. "Where are we?" Cain asked, confused._

_"Yeah, I thought we're supposed to get tortured here; not locked in a room with no windows and doors..." Cassian trailed off, looking around. "This is very weird."_

_**"MWAHAHAHAHA!" **the evil laugh came out of nowhere. Riff let out a falsetto shriek, a look of fear was on his face. Cain just stared at his butler, completely appalled by the manservant's reaction. **"YOU SHALL ALL SUFFER FROM THE WRATH OF THE PAINTBALLS!" **_

_"What? What are paintballs?" Maryweather asked._

_**"...Paintballs are plastic spheres covered with lots of paint, and we shoot them at you. And before you ask who's shooting these things at you, it's me and Justice. Got it?" **another voice sounded._

_**"Ida, you're not supposed to tell them THAT!" **the other voice argued._

_**"Shut up, Justice; we have a job to do, and that is to shoot these guys with paintballs. Alright?"**_

_**"Fine..." **Justice was heard sighing before shouting, **"FIRE!"**_

_One of the walls in the room opened up to reveal several cannons, rifles, guns, etc...all loaded with paintballs. Jizabel swallowed nervously before shouting, _

_"RUN!"_

_Rata-ta-tat! The paintballs came bombarding towards the five, who shrieked and ran around, trying their best not get to hit. It didn't help that the room was quite small, and so almost everyone kept running into each other._

_"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"_

_"YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY!"_

_"OOOOWWWWW!"_

_"GET US OUT OF HERE, BIG BROTHER!"_

_"HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!"_

"Okay, I think that's enough..." Mystical trailed off. "Man, they're getting bruises...huh? Wait, where's the remote!?" Indeed, the remote that controlled the Box of Illusions had vanished. Meanwhile in the crowd, Credahor was grinning as he held the remote tightly. "Oh well, I can just replicate the remote." The fanfiction author snapped their fingers and a new remote appeared in their hand. Credahor gaped in shock and realized that the remote he was now holding was destroyed. Mystical pressed a button on the remote and the video screen was switched off as the box opened, five figures covered in paint stepping out of the box.

"Freedom..." Riff gasped out before collapsing onto Jizabel, who fell over. Cassian and Cain immediately helped the two up as well as Maryweather, before they returned to their seats.

"Well, people...I think that's enough for today." Mystical spoke. "Next episode...it's the Major Arcana, the DELILAH doll Mikalia, and the Cardmaster of DELILAH!"

_**"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_ Cassandra, Zenopia, Mikalia, Alexis, Justice, Ida, White Owl and Jizabel screamed in unison.

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!" White Owl groaned as the security guards dragged them offstage.

Mystical just gave an evil laugh. "See you next episode!"


	2. Episode 2

Episode 2

"Welcome back...to **Time for Torture**." Mystical spoke, standing at the side of the stage. "This episode, we have the Major Arcana of DELILAH, the Cardmaster, and even Mikalia! Give it up for them!"

The crowd cheered as the spotlight came up on said characters, all tied to chairs (they also tried to escape to this episode).

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET US GOOOO!" the Cardmaster Alexis shouted as he struggled with his chains. The Cardmaster had tried to escape so many times that the security guards had to chain him to his chair instead of tying him up with rope.

"Because, the show has only just started..." Mystical sighed. "Okay, let's just get on with the show. The first people to go into the Box of Illusions are..."

A drumroll sounded through the room as the fanfiction author cleared their throat before speaking.

"Cassandra and Jizabel!"

At the sound of their names, the two let out a scream of fear and broke the ropes that had tied them to the chairs before running out of the room.

Mystical groaned. "SECURITY, AFTER THEM!" Twenty security guards ran out of the room in search for the duo. Mystical sighed. "Okay, obviously we'll have to wait until later for that to happen, so I'll just skip to the next one for now. This one involves...Mikalia and White Owl!"

"This doesn't sound good..." White Owl trailed off before he was thrown into the Box of Illusions along with Mikalia. The door on the box slammed shut as the videoscreen came down from the ceiling.

* * *

_White Owl and Mikalia stared around. "I'm already freaked out..." Owl muttered. Like last episode, the room had no doors and windows and was completely white._

_"Shut up already." Mikalia responded. _

_**"MWAHAHAHAHA!" **the two screamed when they heard the evil cackling voice. The voice huffed quietly. **"Seriously, I'm working on my evil laugh. Don't get freaked out yet; I'm not sure if that one was good enough..."**_

_**"Cassandra, I can assure you that was a pretty decent job." **Jizabel's voice was heard. **"And yes, before you ask, we're messing with the Box, Mystical. Blame Cassandra for the idea."**_

_**"What should we inflict upon these two?" **_

_**"I honestly don't know."**_

_**"HEY!" **Mystical's voice was now heard. **"Quit messing with my box and get back onstage, you two!"**_

_**"Crap, gotta go!" **Cassandra was heard shouting before he and Jizabel were heard screaming. A loud click was heard with silence following. Then Mystical's voice was heard again._

_**"Sorry 'bout that. Okay...what sort of torture shall I inflict upon you two...hmm...ah HA!" **Mystical was heard exclaiming. **"Prepare for the wrath of the wall of bees!"**_

_"Wallabies? Aren't those baby kangaroos?" Owl asked, confused. "I don't get how those are scary..."_

_**"No, no, not wallabies, Owl... WALL. OF. BEES!" **Mystical shouted the last three words. **"Although I could have some angry kangaroos beat you up first. Yeah, in fact I think I'll do that. Thanks for the idea, Owl." **Mystical spoke as an afterthought._

_"Oh, crap."_

_All of a sudden, five adult kangaroos burst into the room seemingly out of nowhere and surrounded the White Owl, who let out a shriek before they started socking him in the stomach and kicking him everywhere. _

_"OWWW! OWWW STOP IT! YEEOOOWCH! GAAAAAH!"_

_The kangaroos vanished after five minutes of beating up Owl, who was now completely bruised. _

_Mikalia sighed with relief. "At least I didn't get hurt..."_

_And before she could continue, a literal wall of bees appeared, ready to sting the heck out of the two._

_"And I spoke too early..."_

_The bees stung them several times, chasing them about the room._

_"OW!"_

_"OUCH!"_

_"HEEEELLLLPPP!"_

_"AAAAAAIEEEEEEE!"_

* * *

Mystical grinned as the two crawled out of the box, groaning and moaning in pain. The two were completely covered in bruises and bee stings.

"I am never...ever...going near any kangaroos or bees again..." Owl trailed off before collapsing onto the ground.

"I guess I'll let you two rest up..." Mystical trailed off before turning to Cassandra and Jizabel; the two restrained by ten security guards. "Now, for revenge for messing with the Box, you're definitely going to suffer...and I'll get Cain to help me, too!"

"NOOOOO!" both Cassandra and Jizabel shouted before being violently thrown into the Box and the lid slammed closed.

* * *

_"Well...this is slightly different than last time." Jizabel remarked._

_The mad doctor was right; there was a white table and two chairs. And on the table was a platter of a small red velvet cake, with two empty plates and forks to go with them._

_**"MWAHAHAHAH-ack! Gah..." **Cain was heard coughing. **"Must. Work. On evil laugh. ASAP."**_

_"You have a long way to go before developing a decent evil laugh, Earl Hargreaves." Cassandra snapped. "What are you going to do to us?"_

_**"I command you to eat the cake. All of it."**_

_"Make me."_

_**"I have a pack of hungry wolves that will rip you to pieces if you don't cooperate." **Mystical spoke. **"Do what Cain just told you guys or else."**_

_Jizabel sighed. "I'm afraid we have no choice but to comply with their commands, Cassandra, whether we like it or not."_

_The two sat down at the table and started to consume the cake._

_**"I don't see what's the point in forcing them to eat cake. It's not funny." **Mystical commented._

_**"Oh, you'll see, Mystical...you'll see." **Cain spoke, smirking._

_The two had finished devouring the cake when they realized there was something wrong._

_"I feel kind of...I don't know how to put it..." Cassandra trailed off, light red starting to appear on his face. He looked away from Jizabel. "Cain, what in the world did you do!?" he wailed._

_"Crap..." Jizabel muttered, looking away from Cassandra as well. "Curse you, brother!"_

_**"Uh...Cain?" **Mystical sounded worried. **"What...did...you...do?"**_

_**"Mystical, seriously, have you never heard of a love potion?" **Cain replied, smirking again._

_Mystical gasped. **"CAIN YOU IDIOT!" **she shouted. **"I CAN'T HAVE THIS SHOW BECOME M RATED, YOU KNOW! All because of your shenanigans, this show might be ruined!"**_

_**"Relax...I diluted the solution several times, so it shouldn't affect them too much. They won't become that reckless."**_

_**"CAIN..." **Mystical growled. **"I will destroy you next episode, I swear...you better give them the antidote really soon!"**_

_"Foo..." Cassandra groaned as he and Jizabel stared at each other somewhat, embarrassed. "C'mon Jizabel, snap out of it! We're under the influence of whatever's influencing us! Snap out of it-" _

_He was cut off when Jizabel smashed his lips against his._

_Mystical was heard letting out a scream of shock as Cain let out a laugh._

* * *

Quite a fewfangirls were screaming as Cassandra and Jizabel stumbled out of the box, still kissing each other and falling onto the ground. Cassian, in the audience, growled with jealousy as most of the CassianxJizabel fans booed for a moment.

"How **dare** the Head Priest do that..." the Trump Card was heard muttering.

Mystical coughed a little, before handing the antidote to both Cassandra and Jizabel. Jizabel immediately injected the needles of antidote into their arms (after breaking the kiss and helping each other off the floor, of course), and the two blushed of embarrassment before dashing back to their seats.

"Phew...uh...sorry 'bout that for those who are CassianxJizabel fans and not preferably CassandraxJizabel..." Mystical sighed, face-palming herself. "I had no idea Cain was going to do that. He will be dealt with next episode, I assure you..." Mystical paused for a moment before continuing. "I was going to torture Zenopia, but I really don't want to give the poor guy a heart attack, so instead he's going to help me out with the next torture I have planned for Moon, Justice and the Cardmaster!"

"LET US GOOOOO!" the Cardmaster was heard screaming as the three were chucked into the Box.

* * *

_"I think I'm scared already." Alexis was heard whimpering._

_"Cardmaster, I don't understand how you can be scared of a place like this." Justice commented. "I'm fine."_

_"That's because you always meditate in darkness, Justice! Geez..." Moon trailed off._

_The three were in a dimly-lit forest, and the howling sounds of animals could be heard from a distance. The dry grass cracked under their feet, and the dead trees reminded them of skeletons._

_**"MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !" **The three shivered when they heard an evil laugh ring out. _

_Mystical sighed. **"Okay, these evil laughs are starting to get overdone now. Zenopia...why are we doing this setting again?"**_

_**"I thought you wanted to sic the wolves on them, Mystical."**_

_**"I'm saving them for Cain, Zenopia! Can you just do something else?"**_

_**"Alright, I guess we can use something else..."**_

_"What are you guys going to do now?" Moon asked, slightly annoyed._

_Before she could say more, the sun came up, beating down upon them._

_Justice let out a shriek. "THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT, IT'S KILLING ME! IT'S THE ACCURSED LIGHT!" she wailed, trying to cover her eyes with her hands._

_Before the Cardmaster could say anything, a swarm of bats appeared out of nowhere. Wait...bats?_

_"BATS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EXIST IN THE DAYLIGHT!" Alexis screamed in fear. "RUN!"_

_The three screamed as the bats horded them and bit and scratched at them like crazy, with Justice screaming the most ("THE ACCURSED LIGHT! IT BURNS!")._

* * *

The three ran out of the Box, scared out of their wits as the audience laughed at them.

"Okay, I guess that's it for this episode." Mystical spoke, grinning. "Next time, we have the people from the most popular pairings on the Count Cain: Godchild category...namely, the RiffxCain pairing and the JizabelxCassian pairing!"

"NOT FOR THE THIRD TIME IN A ROW!" Jizabel was heard groaning as he, Cassian, Riff and Cain were hauled out of the room.

Mystical smile just grew wider. "See you next episode! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-aagh! Okay, I seriously need to work on my evil laugh..."


	3. Episode 3

Episode 3

"WELCOME BACK!" Mystical shouted cheerfully. "And now-"

"**_HOLD ON A FREAKING MOMENT!_**" Moon shouted from the audience, enraged. "What took you so **long**!? We've been waiting for the next episode for the past couple days, you know!" she gestured to Cain, Riff, Jizabel and Cassian as she spoke. The four were obviously looking sick of being stuck onstage and tied to chairs.

Mystical sighed. "I'm sorry, guys! I got **really** busy and I didn't have any time to work on the show until now, so...I'll do my best to make this episode just as funny as the previous two, but I can't guarantee it. Okay? Sorry 'bout the inconvenience."

"This better be a good episode." The Cardmaster was heard muttering. "Mystical is so stupid to have delayed this show..."

Mystical glared at the Cardmaster before turning back into the blob from episode 1. Alexis shrieked in a falsetto and curled up into the fetal position.

"I'M SORRY! OKAY, OKAY! JUST TURN BACK TO NORMAL ALREADY!"

Mystical smiled after turning back to normal. "There we go. And now, our first person being tortured is...CAIN! If you guys remember last episode, the torture on Cassandra and Jizabel went terribly wrong and, well...we need to punish Cain for that."

Cain was thrown into the box before he could start shouting in protest about the incident.

* * *

_"Oh, great..." Cain trailed off. "What now?"_

_**"I. Am. Going. To. Sic. Wolves. On you. For what. You. Did. Last. EPISODE." **Mystical's voice hissed. **"Prepare to be chewed up and spit out repeatedly."**_

_All of a sudden, a giant, harmless-looking, teddy bear appeared. Cain started laughing._

_"That's not a wolf, Mystical, it's a teddy bear! HA! YOU CAN'T HARM ME WITH THAT!"_

**_"CRAP!" _**_Mystical shouted in frustration. **"I really need to work on which button does what on the remote control...why did I unleash the rabid teddy bear? Why now!?"**_

_"Rabid...teddy bear?" Cain gulped, turning to look at the teddy bear-_

_Which had it's mouth open wide with large fangs and ready to pounce at Cain._

_"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE EEEE!"_

* * *

Cain stumbled out of the box. The poor earl was completely disoriented and needed to get a new shirt (it got ripped a lot by the bear in the process of Cain being beat up and such). Riff caught Cain when he fell, and ushered the earl back to his seat.

"..." everyone was speechless for a moment. Mystical coughed slightly before speaking.

"Well...that went slightly wrong. Okay people, let's just move on and go to the next victim to be, which is...JIZABEL!"

"Mystical, good job on using the teddy bear against Cain! He deserved it!" Jizabel was shouting before he was thrown into the box.

* * *

_"Well...I'm sure this torture won't be that bad. At least I don't have to kiss anyone." Jizabel muttered quietly._

_All of a sudden, Mikalia appeared. She had a little cage in her arms, and for those of the audience know what her special powers are, you could probably guess what exactly was in that cage. Jizabel gulped, expecting what was to come._

_"Let me show you my little friends." she cackled, before opening the cage. Quite suddenly, hundreds of spiders crawled out of the cage and towards Jizabel. The mad doctor actually let out a falsetto and tried to stomp on them, but they eventually pinned him down using spider webs and started crawling all over him._

_"AAAAAIEEEEEEEEE! GET THEM OFF OF ME! GET THEM OFF ME! HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!"_

* * *

Mystical sighed. "That didn't go well, either...c'mon..." she muttered to herself. "Think, think, think..."

The mad doctor stumbled out of the box, still trying to shake off spiders that actually weren't there anymore. Cassian just dragged the poor 26-year-old back to his seat. Mystical then suddenly smiled and snapped her fingers.

"Alright, Riff, it's your turn."

"Alright...wait, WHAT!?" Riff shouted, realizing what was going to happen. "Nonononononono-" He was thrown into the box and the lid slammed shut.

* * *

_**"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_

_Riff shivered at the sound of Mystical cackling. **"Since I was unable to sic the wolves on Cain, I figured, 'Why not attack his beloved butler instead?' So...I hope you don't mind being chased by maws of sharp teeth and howls in the night. Enjoy!"**_

_"Wait-wait-wait!" Riff shouted in protest. "Don't do it!"_

**_"...And...why shouldn't I?"_**

_"Lord Cain would throw himself off London Bridge if I was killed."_

**_"Riff, you know perfectly well that you can only get injured in the Box, not killed."_**

_"Um...Lord Cain and Miss Maryweather would not like it for me to be injured, especially Lord Cain because he doesn't want anyone else to help him get dressed or act as a valet in my place during my recovery."_

**_"Meh. Oh well, I'm going to sic the wolves on you anyway."_**

_Riff turned at the sound of a growl to see at least five wolves standing dangerously close to him, and the poor manservant was cornered. Only one thing he could do..._

_"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE!"_

* * *

A lot of RiffxCain fangirls cringed as they witnessed Riff being scratched, kicked, and bitten by the wolves. Cain's eyes were wide, staring in horror. Mystical just grinned. _Mission accomplished! Finally, something interesting to watch..._

Riff crawled out of the box, groaning in pain. Cain quickly ran over to him and helped him up.

"Who haven't I done?" Mystical asked, thinking. "Okay, I've done Jizabel, Cain, Riff...who's next?"

Jizabel then pointed at Cassian, who was asleep. Cain elbowed the 'boy' roughly, and Cassian let out a yelp of pain, waking up.

"Hey! What was that for!?" Cassian snapped at Cain before turning to see Mystical's evil grin. "Huh? Uh oh..." He was thrown into the box before he could start screaming for help.

* * *

_"What are you going to do now!?" Cassian groaned. "I swear, if you're going to shoot paintballs at me again, this isn't going to be good."_

**_"Good news, Cassian...I ran out of paintballs, so I can't exactly do that right now." _**_Cassian sighed of relief when he heard Mystical speak. **"However..." **the Trump Card heard Mystical smirk. **"Just wondering...has the doctor ever thought of you disguising yourself as a girl and spying on Cain? You do look girly sometimes."**_

_"I DO NOT!" Cassian shouted, stamping his foot for emphasis._

**_"Yes."_**

_"No."_

**_"Yes."_**

_"No."_

_**"YES!"**_

_"NO!"_

**_"Geez, fine then, Cassian...prepare to be girlified!"_**

**_"Mystical, I am sure you mean 'prepare to be put into a dress and have makeup put on you and such.' Just thought I'd translate that, for those that don't understand." _**_Gladstone's voice was heard._

**_"Yeah, that's what I meant. Hold on a second, Cassandra, you're not even supposed to be here! GET BACK TO THE AUDIENCE, WILL YOU!?"_**

**_"Okay, okay! You don't need to transform into a blob to get me out!"_**

_The slamming of a door was heard before Mystical sighed. **"Sorry 'bout that. Now, PREPARE TO BE GIRLIFIED!"**_

_Before Cassian could let out a yell, he was suddenly pulled into a wardrobe by mechanical hands and the doors shut closed. "OWWW! HEY, NO! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING A DRESS ON ME! NOT THE MASCARA! NOOOOOO! HEEELLLLLLPPPP!"_

* * *

Cassian was violently thrown out of the box, and the Trump Card landed on the floor, groaning in pain. Cain, Jizabel, and Riff were stunned by how the 'boy' looked now. He definitely looked more feminine, from the mascara accentuating his eyes to the light pink dress he wore with a white bow about the collar. There was obviously blush and foundation upon his face, and his black hair was tied back in pigtails.

And almost immediately, Cassandra, Alexis, the rest of the Major Arcana, Mikalia, and everyone else in the audience started to howl with laughter or let out an 'aaawwwwww...'

Mystical walked over to Cassian and stared at him silently before giving him a quick hug. "I can't help it." Mystical spoke. "You just look too cute..."

"Shut up!" Cassian shouted, blushing a deep scarlet of embarassment. "Get me out of this dress, now!"

"Calm down, I'm sure Jizabel wouldn't mind helping you get it off before the next episode starts." Mystical giggled a little before looking at the audience. "Alright guys, that's it for this episode! Next time, we've got Oscar, Mikalia, and Credahor, so stay tuned!"

"MARRRYYYY! SAVE ME, PLEASE!" Oscar was heard yelling as he was slowly being dragged out of the room.

"Hmm..." Maryweather appeared to be thinking about it for a moment before smiling and saying, "NAH."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	4. Episode 4

Episode 4

**_"CURSE YOU MYSTICAL!"_**everyone turned to see Jizabel run onstage, accompanied by Cassandra and Cassian.

"AAUGH!" Cassian's voice was heard through Cassandra's mouth. "Why the heck did Mystical let the Cardmaster use that weird potion on us! Now we've switched bodies!"

Jizabel's sigh was heard through Cassian. "I'm stuck in Cassian's body, Cassandra is stuck in my body, and Cassian is in Cassandra's body. Just. Convenient." he muttered the last two words sarcastically.

"At least I'm not in the midget's body, no offense to you, Jizabel." Cassandra muttered through Jizabel. "I would hate being short..."

"Speaking of Mystical, where is she?" Cassian asked.

"I'm right here." the three turned to see Mystical, in the usual cloaked form. "Sorry I'm late again..." Mystical sighed. "There were quite a few fanfics I was working on, such as 'Incarcerated' and 'Music Box Tales' that I forgot about the show. Again. Forgive me."

"We'll forgive you as soon as you get us back to normal." Jizabel hissed, pointing a scalpel at Mystical. Mystical swallowed nervously before speaking as calmly as she could.

"Look, how about this?" Mystical responded. "You guys help me host this episode, and I'll get you guys back to normal by the end of this episode. Sounds good?" The other three sighed and nodded with agreement. "Okay!" she turned to the audience. "This episode, our torturees are Mikalia, Oscar, and Credahor! Give it up for them, folks!"

The spotlight shone on said three, tied to chairs. Some of the fangirls hissed at Mikalia (because they love the CainxRiff pairing that much) while others were shouting, "OscarxMaryweather forever!" Maryweather, in the audience, rolled her eyes at the remarks of her and Oscar being paired in fanfiction.

"Hmm..." Mystical turned to Cassian, Jizabel and Cassandra. "Who should we send into the Box first?"

Jizabel pointed at Mikalia, who swallowed nervously.

"Mystical, may I do the honors of torturing the Delilah doll?" Jizabel asked. Mystical nodded. Jizabel's mouth turned upwards with a smirk. Mikalia tried to inch away, but Jizabel simply picked up the chair (with Mikalia obviously tied to it) and threw it into the Box, before he went into the Box and closed the door behind him.

* * *

_"What do you want, Jizabel!?" Mikalia snapped. All Jizabel did was take out one of Cassian's knives, an evil glint in his eyes. "MYSTICAL! WE CAN'T GET KILLED IN THE BOX, RIGHT!?" Mikalia shouted in panic._

**_"No, you can't get killed..." _**_Mystical paused for a moment. **"Jizabel...what are you going to do?"**_

_"Oh...just a simple shave and a haircut." Jizabel responded, before slowly walking towards Mikalia..._

* * *

Moments later, Mikalia came out of the Box, completely bald (and still tied to the chair). Everyone else stared in horror as Jizabel walked out of the Box, took one look at Mikalia, and smiled before walking back to Mystical, Cassian and Cassandra.

"She's bald." those were the only words Cassian could say.

"I hate to admit it, but Jizabel might be the next Sweeny Todd...just thought I'd warn all future barber shops out there..." Mystical trailed off, horrified. "Uh...okay...how about we do Oscar next?"

"Can I mess with him this time?" Cassian asked.

"Sure."

Cassian picked up Oscar (remember, he's currently stuck in Cassandra's body so he's strong enough to do so) and threw him into the Box, before going into the Box as well.

* * *

_"Oh, crap..." Oscar trailed off. "What's going to happen to me now!?"_

_"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cassian let out an evil laugh before stopping. "Wow. I can actually do an evil laugh! Sweet!" he cheered. "Mystical, you have got to let me posess Cassandra's body for longer! Please?"_

**_"How long?" _**_Mystical asked._

_"Infinity."_

**_"NOT HAPPENING!" _**_Cassandra was heard shouting, offended. **"Body snatcher! I swear you will DIE as soon as we get back to normal!"**_

_Cassian cringed at that remark. Obviously, Cassandra wasn't going to let him off easy, even though how they got into the situation wasn't his fault..._

**_"Calm down, Cassandra..." _**_Jizabel's voice was heard. **"It wasn't Cassian's fault. Blame the Cardmaster for slipping body-swap potion into our ice cream earlier during break. If there is anyone you need to kill, it would be fath-I mean, the Cardmaster. Of course, keep in mind that if you try to kill father, you will suffer terribly for it at my hands."**_

_**"Guys, we need to get back to torturing Oscar. Leave this conversation for later." **Mystical spoke up. **"Now...what to do with the guy that flirts with Maryweather?"**_

_Oscar heard Cassandra smirk. **"I have the perfect idea."**_

_Before Oscar could comprehend what was going on, an army of fangirls appeared, and the flags they wielded read, _

**_WE HATE OSCARXMARYWEATHER PAIRINGS. DIE, OSCAR DIE!_**

_Oscar gulped. "Uh oh..."_

_"DIE, OSCAR, DIEEEEEE!" the fangirl army roared before stampeding towards him. Oscar only had enough time to let out a scream before they collided with him, causing a large cloud of dust to appear and obscured the entire fight._

* * *

Some of the audience cringed as screams of pain and panic could be heard from Oscar, and even Cassandra was cringing when some of the fangirls used Oscar as a trampoline. Eventually, Oscar crawled out of the Box, completely beaten and bruised.

"Well, then..." Mystical took a deep breath before speaking. "Finally, we have Credahor. Cassandra, would you like to do the honors of torturing him?"

"Gladly." Cassandra responded, glaring at the medium coldly. Two security guards picked up Credahor and threw him into the Box. Cassandra walked into the Box and shut the door behind him.

* * *

_"If it wasn't for you giving that hypnosis-breaking thing to Earl Hargreaves, I would have gotten through with the Crimone Gardens Massacre AND won the bet with Jizabel!" Cassandra growled, punching Credahor in the face before pointing a scalpel at him. "You will DIE."_

**_"Cassandra, must I remind you that you're not allowed to kill anyone on the show? You and everyone else signed a contract saying so." _**_Mystical's voice was heard._

_"Right..." Cassandra trailed off. "Mystical, can you bring out the rabid teddy bear? And the wolves? And how about the kangaroos, too?"_

**_"I'm on it."_**

_Almost immediately, the kangaroos appeared, punching and kicking the medium like mad. They vanished after a few minutes of the beating, and were replaced by the wolves. Credahor screamed as they chased him about the room while Cassandra watched, smiling with glee. Finally, the wolves vanished._

_And Credahor sighed with relief...before turning to see a giant teddy bear fling itself at him._

* * *

Lots of the audience cringed as Credahor's pained screams echoed through the room before the Box opened. Cassandra walked out of the Box, triumphant as Credahor slowly crawled out before collapsing. A security guard picked up the beaten medium and put him back in his seat.

"Alright, and that's it for this episode!" Mystical spoke up. "Next episode is going to be quite special, I'm sure of it folks! Stay tuned!"

"And change us back right now!" Jizabel, Cassandra and Cassian shouted at Mystical. Mystical just nodded before the four ran off stage.


	5. Episode 5

**Author note: Warning; this episode contains some people having a potty mouth (particularly the DELILAH people), tons of references to other stuff (which I will list and try to explain at end of chapter), and lots more random chaos than usual. If you are offended by any of the above (especially the random chaos and potty mouthing), please do not read this chapter.**

* * *

Episode 5

"Welcome back to _**TIME FOR TORTURE**_!" Mystical shouted, a wide grin on her face. "This episode, we're going to go all out this time. We're going to have everyone that's been tortured so far onstage! Give it up for them!"

A spotlight shone on all that had been tortured so far. Some of the fangirls screamed things like "CASSIAN AND JIZABEL FOREVER!" and "RIFF! CAIN! YOU TWO ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!" Other fangirls were shouting stuff like "OWL! I LOVE YOU!" and "EEEEEEEE! OSCAR AND MARYWEATHER, GET MARRIED ALREADY!"

"Wow..." Mystical took a deep breath before she continued. "You know how I usually throw these guys into the Box? Well...instead, I've got a whole bunch of funny clips to show you; from behind the scenes! First up is a clip with Cassandra, Jizabel, Cassian, and the WTF boom meme!"

A large screen appeared, and it flickered on...

* * *

_"I'm so bored...when's the next episode going to come on?" Cassian muttered, staring at the list of Mystical's fanfiction on the author profile page. _

_"You're actually reading her fanfiction." Jizabel remarked. "That's new."_

_"It's mainly because I'm bored doctor-**WHAT THE #$$#!**" Cassian screamed, his mouth wide open in shock. "Eww...**EW**! LeroyxCassandra? **Seriously!?**"_

_"What?" Cassandra spoke, walking over to the computer. "What is it-oh." he took a deep breath. "Well, then...um...anything else?"_

_"Well...okay..." A few clicks and three found themselves looking at another fic. "Who the heck is Meister Kirisaki?"_ **(AN1)**

_"I'll ask her later. Next." While Cassian was trying to figure out which fic they should look at next, Cassandra spoke to Jizabel._

_"I'm surprised. Usually most fanfiction authors have written at least one RiffxCain, but I haven't seen any so far from Mystical. Perhaps the Authoress is not a huge fan of the pairing."_

_"True." Jizabel mused. "Then again, I have heard her rant time to time about how 'icky' Cain is. I don't think she particularly likes him."_

_"Found one!" Cassian spoke up. The three looked at the computer again. "...CassianxJizabelxCassandra? Does that mean we're all together?"_

_"I believe the proper term would be a threesome." the three turned to see Cain standing in the doorway, smirking. "I had no idea that you took affection towards both Gladstone and the circus midget, older brother." he spoke._

_"Shut up." Jizabel growled, pointing a scalpel at Cain. "It's fanfiction, Cain, not reality. Think. Or do I have to pluck out one of your eyes to get it in your head?"_

_"Doctor, there's no killing allowed on the show...even behind the scenes." Cassian reminded him. _

_"Mystical never said that I wasn't allowed to gouge out one's eyes." Jizabel argued. _

_"Anyway, Moon said this was a gift for you guys from Owl." Cain muttered, putting a small, gift-wrapped box into Jizabel's hand. "Do what you want with it." With that, the earl left the room._

_"Well...that was fast." Cassandra muttered before looking at the box. "I wonder what's in it..."_

_"A gift from Owl...hmm..." Jizabel thought about it. "Well, I guess it can't be that bad." he unwrapped it quickly, and he took out a translucent black sphere. "Interesting. What is it?"_

**_Beep._**

_"There's numbers counting down on it, doctor..." Cassian trailed off. "I don't think that's good!"_

**_Beep. Beep. Beep._**

_"Oh, crap..." Jizabel groaned, before throwing it to the side. "Take cover! It's a bomb!"_

_"Wait, what!?" both Cassian and Cassandra shouted._

**_Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep beep-_**

_"WHAT THE F-"_

**_BOOM! _(AN2)**

_Pink smoke filled the room, and three were heard coughing like mad. _

_"Open-cough-a window-cough-or something!" Cassian was shouting. _

_"You **THINK**-cough-I can see a **WINDOW**-cough-with all this **SMOKE**-cough-hanging about, BOY!?" Cassandra snapped back. "**OPEN A WINDOW YOURSELF**-cough!"_

_"Ow-cough-Cassian! You're pulling-cough-my hair! Let go!" Jizabel shouted above the two._

_"Sorry!" Cassian shouted before coughing some more._

_"Why are we even shouting at each other!?" Cassandra asked, completely confused._

_Eventually, the smoke cleared, and the three got up from the floor, staring about in shock. "Well...that was...weird..." Cassian trailed off, before realizing something was wrong... "What the-oh...crap..." he muttered, blushing._

_"CRAP!" Jizabel was shouting. "Not the love potion again! Curse you, OWL! CURSE YOU!" he shouted._

_"I'm getting out of here!" Cassandra shouted, not wanting to have a redo of the fiasco in episode 2, before running into the door. "What-no-NO!" he shrieked, trying to turn the doorknob. "We're locked in!"_

_"OWL! CAIN! GET US OUT NOW!" Jizabel screamed._

_Cain and Owl were heard laughing behind the door. "NAH." both spoke, before bursting out in laughter again._

_"#$$# YOU, CAIN AND OWL!" Cassian was also shouting._

* * *

"Of course, I censored all swear words, which wasn't fun, but at least that was a decently funny clip." Mystical spoke up. Jizabel, Gladstone and Cassian all glared at Owl and Cain, who were backing up in their seats and swallowing nervously.

"YOU. WILL. DIE. NEXT. EPISODE!" Jizabel shouted at the violinist and the 17-year-old earl.

"Anyway, let's get to the next clip. During behind the scenes, everyone had a boys night and girls night." Mystical responded. "The boys night was definitely hilarious, so let's check that out!"

"Oh crap." most of the boys muttered. Alexis appeared to be smirking, a proud look on his face as the video started to play...

* * *

_Cassandra, Jizabel, Cassian, Owl, Alexis, Cain, Riff, Credahor, and Oscar were all sitting on couches or chairs, completely bored. "We have got to figure out SOMETHING to do..." Oscar groaned, biting into some chips from a nearby bowl. "Really, we didn't organize this boys night for nothing, you know."_

_"..." no one really responded, until Credahor spoke up._

_"Have you guys ever watched the music video for 'Gangnam Style?' it's a song by this K-pop artist, PSY."_ **(AN3)**

_"What?" all the rest of the boys responded, confused._

_"We do have access to Youtube, right?" Credahor asked._

_"Yeah, I think so..." Oscar trailed off, taking out the TV remote and clicking a few buttons. "What's the video like?"_

_"It has a stupid horse dance in it." the medium grumbled. "The music video is weird...but sadly, the actual music is kinda catchy." _

_The nine began to watch the video. A minute after they started to watch, some of the boys gaped while Cassian and Credahor groaned and looked away. Alexis had his mouth open in shock, and his eyes were as huge as dinner plates. Owl and Oscar were both laughing their heads off. Right after the video had ended, they still kept the same reactions. _

_"...wow." Cain spoke. _

_"I'm at a loss for words." Cassandra admitted._

_"Credahor, you were right." Cassian spoke up. "The dance is stupid."_

_"No it's not!" Alexis shouted at Cassian. "I think it's perfectly fine!"_

_"Seriously?" Riff asked, horrified._

_"Of course! So what if the dance seems stupid? Dancing is supposed to be FUN!" Alexis responded. _

_"Can you actually even dance, father?" Jizabel asked._

_"Of course I can, Jizabel..." Alexis trailed off. "I'll show you. Get the music back on, will you?" Credahor sighed and complied with the request, nabbing the TV remote from Oscar and clicking a few buttons._

_The song started to play again, and when it got to the chorus...Alexis actually started dancing to the video._

_"MY EYES!" Owl screamed. "THEY BURN!" he turned away, groaning. __Jizabel and Cain's eyes went as wide as dinner plates with shock and disbelief. Cassandra and Riff gaped as Cassian fainted. Oscar started laughing again, and even Credahor was snickering a bit._

_"Okay, Alexis can dance, I guess." Cain admitted. "He can only do the stupid horse dance though."_

_Alexis glared at Cain before shouting, "IT'S NOT STUPID!"_

* * *

"In my honest opinion, I just think the dance is weird. And kind of stupid. But they make it look kinda cool in the video." Mystical muttered. "I really wasn't expecting Alexis to dance like that..." she paused before continuing."That's all the really good clips I could find. All the rest were people locking other people out-including me." Mystical spoke, glaring at Ida. "I swear I'm getting revenge on you next episode, Moon. Mark my words."

"All this for two clips? Seriously?" White Owl asked, gaping.

Mystical nodded, sighing. "You have no idea how large the majority of the clips were people locking other people out!" she groaned. "So, fangirls and fanboys out there, what do you request that I do for you to wrap up this episode?" She was bombarded by many requests.

"GET RIFF AND CAIN TO KISS!"

"NO, GET THEM MARRIED!"

"HECK, GET CASSANDRA AND CASSIAN TO KISS!"

"WHITE OWL SHOULD TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT AND SHOW HOW SEXY HE IS!"

"JIZABELXCASSIAN FOREVER!"

"MAKE ALEXIS DO THE STUPID HORSE DANCE!"

"KILL MIKALIA!"

"NO, NO, GET JIZABEL AND CAIN TO KISS!"

Jizabel and Cain cringed at the last statement.

"Whoa, calm down!" Mystical shouted through a microphone. "I'll those suggestions in mind for the next couple episodes, thank you! I can get Alexis to do the stupid horse dance, though. Alexis?" the Authoress asked, turning to the Cardmaster, who gave an evil grin. All the rest of the boys groaned. "Alright, TURN UP THE MUSIC!"

Immediately, the song came on and everyone in the room started dancing and cheering. It wasn't long until some of the people started doing tricks.

Riff spun on his head while putting sunglasses on.

Moon did the worm.

Alexis started doing, as Credahor quoted, 'the stupid horse dance.' Immediately all the boys and girls onstage tried to get as far away from Alexis as they could (they really did not want to dance with Alexis...).

"See you next episode!" Mystical shouted just as Cain was crowd surfing.

* * *

**Author note: Okay, I should probably list the stuff referenced.**

**AN1-Meister Kirisaki is from 'Yakitate! Japan.' This was meant to be a reference to one of my other fics, 'Mystify.'**

**AN2-The WTF boom meme. It's kinda self-explanatory...**

**AN3-Gangnam Style is a song by k-pop artist PSY, and I don't own it. **

**Fun fact: I actually typed out this whole chapter listening to 'Gangnam Style,' hence why Alexis is dancing to the song. **

**See you guys next epsiode!**


	6. Episode 6

**Author note: Just thought I'd reply to anonymous viewer H.**

**H- I know, 'Gangnam Style' is pretty awesome! Okay, okay, I admit I don't really know the language that well (which meant I had to find the english translation online), but the song itself is just kind of catchy. Thanks for the review!**

**Okay, now, back to the episode! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

* * *

Episode 6 

"Welcome back to Time for Torture!" Mystical cheered. "Okay, last episode I showed you guys some clips of behind the scenes. This time, we're back to the usual 'throw-people-in-the-box,' but I've taken some suggestions from last episode to be used for this episode. So...please welcome, Moon, Riff, Cain, and Jizabel!"

The crowd cheered as the spotlight shone on said characters, tied up in chairs. Jizabel let out a groan.

"Do I ever get a break from this!?" he shouted despairingly.

"At least Mystical hasn't tried putting you in a dress yet!" Cain shouted at Jizabel.

"Will you two shut up?" Moon snapped at them. "Otherwise Mystical's going to go all 'giant-green-blob-of-doom' on us!"

Riff sighed. "I just hope nobody kills each other during the show..." he muttered to himself. He turned to Mystical. "I hate to ask this, but do you have any other 'normal' forms besides your cloaked form and the blob form?"

"Oh, yeah I do!" Mystical responded. "Just wait a sec." The Authoress then changed form, a few inches shorter than Jizabel's height, wearing black dress pants with black shoes, with a dark green t-shirt. Mystical's hair was black, with dark green streaks, and the eyes were a bluish-green. The Authoress looked at Riff. "Happy?"

"Thank you. You were starting to creep me out with your blob form and your cloaked form."

"Oh, by the way, this is what you guys will probably see me as when I'm not in cloaked nor blob form." Mystical told the audience. "Just thought I'd tell you that. And now, onto the main event. First into the Box is...Moon!"

"Oh, crap." Moon muttered before being thrown into the Box.

* * *

_"WHAT THE HECK!?" Moon screamed as she ducked a cream pie aimed for her face. "What's going on!?"_

**_"FOOD FIGHT!" _**_Mystical shouted. **"EVERYBODY GANG UP ON MOON!"**_

_Then, all of a sudden, Cassandra, Alexis, Mikalia, Justice, White Owl, Jizabel, and Cassian appeared, armed with maple syrup, chocolate sauce, ice cream and, well, cream pie. All seven gave an evil smile before letting out a battle cry and charging at Ida, who let out a shout of terror and started running around, trying to avoid being hit by food._

_Some of the others also shot food at each other. Cassian squirted Cassandra with maple syrup while the other dumped ice cream on his head. Alexis threw a cream pie at White Owl, who was currently pouring chocolate sauce into Mikalia's hair._

_And then, out of the blue, Jizabel was heard yelling, "EAT THIS, MOON!" before slamming a cream pie into her face._

* * *

Some of the audience burst out into laughter as Moon stumbled out of the Box, still blinded by the cream pie, before tripping and falling flat on her face.

The other seven also walked out of the Box, high-fiving each other and such. "That was AWESOME!" Justice exclaimed. "We've got to do it again!"

"You said it!" White Owl agreed.

Jizabel sighed as he tried his best to wipe some maple syrup off his face. "I think all of us are in need of a shower after this episode for sure." he remarked.

Cassandra faced the doctor silently. "I think there's some ice cream on your face; let me wipe it off..." he used his his hand to wipe some of the ice cream off Jizabel's face. The two were getting closer...closer...

Before Cassian promptly shoved Cassandra out of the way and squirted him in the face with leftover chocolate sauce. The Head Priest of Delilah stared in shock, gaping at the Trump Card before his expression turned to one of rage.

"ALRIGHT, _**THAT'S IT!**_ You bloody Trump Card, you're going to pay for that!" Cassandra roared before he chased Cassian out of the room.

Mystical laughed a bit before turning to the audience. "That's what I call entertaining. And now, our next victims are Cain and Riff!"

**_"Nonononononono-"_ **the two shouted before they were thrown into the Box.

* * *

_"What NOW!?" Cain groaned._

_"Lord Cain?" Riff spoke up._

_"Yes, Riff?" Cain responded. "What is it?"_

_Riff pointed upwards. "What...exactly is that?"_

_There was a green plant with small red spheres with it, hanging above their heads. _

_The Authoress was heard chuckling a bit before speaking. **"It's mistletoe. At Christmas, if two people are underneath this plant, they have to kiss." **_

_"Oh." Cain paused before realizing what was going on. "Wait, WHAT!?" he shouted. "Heck no! I'm not kissing Riff!"_

_Riff blushed with embarassment as he also realized what was going on. "Mystical...don't you think this is a bit much?" he asked nervously._

**_"C'mon, guys!" _**_Mystical responded. **"It's just a little kiss! And besides, Cain, it's not like I'm going to kill you over kissing Riff! In fact, I don't mind it, so there! And it's for the fangirls, too! Please?"**_

_"NO." both Riff and Cain responded simultaneously. _

_Mystical let out a huff. **"Fine then, you two can go ahead and die at the wrath of hungry wolves." **As if on cue, a large cage filled with who-knows-how-many wolves appeared out of nowhere, slowly starting to open..._

_"OKAY, OKAY!" Cain screamed horror. "We'll kiss; just get those wolves away from us!" The cage dissapeared as Cain turned to Riff. The butler seemed VERY embarassed now; he was blushing as red as a tomato._

_"Lord Cain, are you serious about this!?" Riff exclaimed in terror. _

_Cain sighed. "Sadly Riff, yes. I order you to kiss me. And for the sake of the fangirls, no holding back."_

_Riff groaned. "As you wish, my lord." he uttered quietly_

_The two took a deep breath before they locked lips._

* * *

All of the RiffxCain fangirls screamed as they watched the two kissing.

"RIFFxCAIN FOREVER!"

"GET THEM MARRIED, MYSTICAL!"

"I KNEW RIFF AND CAIN WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER! I KNEW IT!"

Riff and Cain both scurried out of the Box, both too embarassed to say a thing as they sat back down in their chairs.

Mystical turned to the audience. "Last, but not least now is...Jizabel." she spoke.

Jizabel was thrown into the Box before he could start protesting.

* * *

_"Jizabel?" Jizabel turned to see Mystical._

_"What are you doing here?" Jizabel asked the Authoress. "Usually you're doing evil laughs and tormenting us and all that..."_

_"Um...I have a confession to make to you." Mystical looked at the ground, taking some sort of interest in whatever was on the ground (nothing was on the ground). "You know how I told you I was vegetarian?"_

_"Yes..." Jizabel trailed off awkwardly. "And what about it?"_

_"Um..." Mystical took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm not vegetarian. I lied. I'm sorry. And I've eaten duck before, I can assure you."_

_Jizabel just stared at Mystical before fainting on the spot._

* * *

Mystical dragged Jizabel out of the Box. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that on the show..." the Authoress trailed off. "Oh well. Anyway," she spoke, turning to the audience, "Next episode is a sort of Halloween Special, mainly in case if I don't have any time to write an episode in time for Halloween. There will be people that get spooked, as well as door-decorating contests, haunted houses...you get the idea! See you next episode!"

* * *

**Author note: Sorry for not updating this fic in a while...ugh...I had a hard time thinking up tortures...(sigh)**

**Anyway, like I just mentioned before this Author's Note, there will be a Halloween Special next episode (just in case I don't make it in time for Halloween). I'll try to post the next episode as soon as I can, but no guarantees. In the meantime, I hope you guys can be patient! Thanks so much!**


	7. Episode 7

Episode 7

"Welcome back to TIME FOR TORTURE!" Mystical cheered. "Let's bring out everyone, shall we, folks?"

The audience cheered and whistled as all those tortured so far came up onstage again. Again, the fangirls (and fanboys) were screaming.

"OWL YOU LOOK SEXY!"

"RIFFXCAIN FOREVER!"

"OSCAR, LOOK OVER HERE!"

"JUSTICE, YOU'RE THE SEXIEST LADY ALIVE! SIGN MY AUTOGRAPH!"

Some more fans even tried to climb onstage, but were ushered out of the room by the security guards.

Mystical put a hand up, and the crowd went silent. The Authoress was wearing an outfit similar to Cassandra's Head Priest robes, except it was black and red instead of white and red(**A.N. I'm assuming Cassandra's outfit for Ritual of Regeneration is in those colours, mainly because I can imagine it like that...)** "Like I said, this episode is a Halloween Special, so I can certainly tell you that some people were freaked out! I've got some clips from behind the scenes again, as well as some pictures from a door decorating contest we all did!"

"Don't tell me you uploaded Mikalia's door photo..." Cain trailed off, terrified.

Mystical shook her head in response. "Um...no. I didn't." Mystical responded quickly before turning to the audience. "Anyway, about the door decorating contest, I decided that the winner will be allowed to skip being tortured in the Box for the next couple episodes and help me host the next few episodes as well!" she spoke up, throwing up her arms for emphasis. "Let's look at the photos, shall we? First up is Maryweather. She put up all these awesome fantasy stuff, and it was just so ADORABLE!" Mystical shouted the last word.

The picture came up on the screen. Taped to the door was pictures of gingerbread houses, teddy bears, unicorns, etc.

"..." some of the men were speechless. Some of the fangirls in the audience couldn't help but go 'awwww...' at the photo.

"Jizabel is up next, going for the glory...or should I say gory?" Mystical commented. "He's got jars of...stuff...hanging on the door. I'm not sure if they're real or fake..."

The picture came up on screen. Small, tiny jars of eyes, fingers, ears, and lips? hung on the door. Jizabel just smirked as other people cringed.

"A lot of people didn't participate." Mystical sighed. "We're talking Alexis, Moon, Justice, Cain, Riff, Zenopia...what a shame. The only people that participated were Owl, Jizabel, Cassian, Cassanadra, Maryweather, and Mikalia, who was disqualified as soon as I saw her door."

"WHY THE HECK WAS I DISQUALIFIED!?" Mikalia demanded. "I didn't put organs on my door!"

"YOU PUT CERTAIN ARTICLES OF CLOTHING THAT SHOULD **_NOT_** BE SEEN ON A DOOR_** HANGING** _OFF THE DOOR WITH REAL-LOOKING _**BLOOD**_ DRIPPING OFF THEM! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD APPROVE OF IT!?" Mystical shouted back, changing into the blob form. Mikalia let out a scream of fear, as well as several of the boys (such as Alexis, Cain, Riff, etc.).

"Calm down already, there's a show going on!" Owl shouted at Mystical. "Beat the heck out of Mikalia later!"

"...Fine." Mystical changed back to her normal form. "So...Mikalia was disqualified immediately as soon as I saw it. Next up is Cassandra's, which was pretty interesting-"

"All he did was hang his Scavenger's Daughter on the door and put a note beside it saying how busy he was and all that crap!" Cassian protested. "HE should have been disqualified!"

"At least I didn't put a dartboard on my door with a ripped up picture of Mystical on the bullseye!" Cassandra shouted back at Cassian. "What is WRONG with you, boy!? Do you hate the Authoress or something!? You know you're her number three favourite character in the series tied with White Owl!"

"It's not fair that you're her number one favourite!"

"Guys, beat the heck out of each other later!" Mystical huffed at the two. "Anyway, the overall winner is..." she coughed a little bit. "Drumroll, please."

The drumroll sounded as those that participated in the contest grew anxious about who the winner was.

"White Owl, for his awesome Vocaloid-themed door!" Mystical shouted, the picture appearing onscreen. There was all sorts of Vocaloid characters posted to the door (**A.N. think of pictures of your favourite characters from Vocaloid posted to the door, if you're trying to imagine it. And I don't own Vocaloid, by the way)**.

"WHAAATTT!?" All the rest of the participants shouted in disbelief.

"Hahahahaha!" Owl cackled. "I WIN!" he shouted, before sticking his tongue out at the other participants. "Suckers!"

"KILL HIM!" Alexis screamed.

"YAAAAAARRRRR!" everyone else except Mystical shouted in response, taking out pitchforks and torches. Owl let out a yell of fright, hiding behind the Authoress.

Mystical pushed Owl aside a little bit before speaking. "Guys, beat the heck out of him later! We have a show to run!" Mystical told them.

"Fine..." muttered everyone else, who put away their pitchforks and torches.

Mystical turned towards the audience. "Anyway, we have some clips from behind the scenes. First off, we have Alexis, Cain, Jizabel and Mikalia!"

* * *

_"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Alexis shouted, his dramatic, black cape blowing in the wind (which was caused by a nearby fan). "I VANT YOUR BLOOD!" _

_"Really, Father?" Cain spoke up. "Count Dracula? He's so outdated. All the girls are going for Edward Cullen from 'Twilight.' You should know that."_

_"$##$ Edward Cullen. Dracula was much better than him." Alexis muttered. _

_"NO WAY!" Mikalia objected. "It's so obvious that Edward is much better and hotter than Dracula, hands down. Dracula never had anybody swooning for him in the books!"_

_Alexis grabbed Mikalia by the collar and slammed her into the wall several times, shouting "TWILIGHT ISN'T LITERATURE!" **(AN1)**_

_Jizabel and Cain both cringed at the sight, before slowly walking away..._

* * *

Alexis glared at Mikalia,who glared back at him. "_Twilight. Isn't. Literature_." Alexis muttered under his breath.

"Anyway, here's another scene involving me, Cassandra, Riff and...Slenderman?" Mystical spoke, before the next video started playing.

* * *

_"AAIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"_

_Cassandra ran to Riff and Mystical, carrying a paintball gun and war paint smeared on his face. "I swear, Slenderman is after me! You have to help me get rid of him!"_

_"Hold on a second..." Riff trailed off. "I thought Slenderman was only in a video game..." **(AN2)**_

_"It is creepy, though. I couldn't stop thinking about Slenderman for over two days straight after I discovered it." Mystical spoke, shivering slightly. "Slenderman's a faceless dude that's out to kill you. AND he has tentacles coming his neck! But...it shouldn't exist in real life...right?"_

_Before anyone could answer, a white figure with tendrils coming out of its neck appeared..._

_"AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" all three of them screamed. Cassandra aimed the paintball gun at Slenderman._

_"DIE, SLENDER, DIEEEEEEE!" Cassandra screamed as paintballs shot out and started to hit Slenderman._

_**"OW! HEEEEYYY! WAIT, STOOOPPPPP!"** Slenderman started screaming in pain as Cassandra continued to shoot._

_"Wait, those screams are familiar..." Mystical trailed off. "Oscar, is that you!?"_

_"YOU CAN BLOODY BET IT IS!" Oscar screamed back, tearing off the Slenderman mask before he got hit in the face with a paintball. "...Joy."_

* * *

"I call dibs on getting revenge on Cassandra next episode!" Oscar shouted.

"That's not fair!" Cassandra protested. "You scared me already in that stupid Slenderman costume! I had the liberty to shoot you with paintballs!"

"Anyway," Mystical spoke, ignoring the two, "Next we have a clip of Jizabel, Cassandra, Cassian, and cake. It's not really scary, per se, rather it's more humorous."

* * *

_"I'm not eating it." Jizabel spoke._

_"Nor am I." Cassandra agreed._

_Cassian sighed. "Jizabel, Cassandra, I can tell you both for sure that this cake does NOT have love potion in it! I made it myself! Why would I bloody put love potion in it, especially since the incident from episode 2!?"_

_"..." the other two were speechless for a moment._

_"He has a point there, but..." Cassandra paused for a moment. "What if Cain or Owl injected that stuff into the cake batter while you weren't looking?"_

_Cassian face-palmed himself. "Just eat the bloody cake or I will force-feed one of you." he spoke, taking out one of his knives. _

_"Fine." both muttered. The three cut slices for themselves and ate slowly. There was a moment of silence._

_Jizabel sighed of relief. "Thank goodness. I was worried that the scenario from episode 2 would happen. I guess it won't happen for once."_

_"OR WILL IT!?" the three turned to see Owl shouting, before closing the door and locking it. They immediately realized something was wrong._

_"NOOOOO! CRAP!" Cassandra screamed, trying to open the door. "CURSE YOU OWL!"_

_Cassian's face grew red with embarassment and due to the effects of the love potion as well. "...Crap." Cassian muttered, before Cassandra grabbed one of Cassian's knives and pointed it at the other two. "Hey!"_

_"Don't you dare try to kiss me or else I'll kill you!" Cassandra screamed in horror._

_Jizabel was standing still, but the doctor was shaking slightly. "Cassandra. You have **no** idea how much I'm restraining myself from running over to either one of you and kissing you. Be thankful I'm able to keep hold of most of my senses and not kiss you this time." Jizabel spoke as calmly as he could._

* * *

Cassandra, Jizabel and Cassian all glared at Owl, who swallowed nervously and tried to hide behind Mystical, who shoved him away again.

"...That's it." Mystical finished. "That's all the videos I could find. The rest were variations of people shooting Slender, I mean Oscar, especially with Cassandra shooting Oscar. Several times." She turned to the audience. "Any suggestions, guys?"

"HAVE OSCAR DRESS UP AS SLENDERMAN AND LET EVERYONE SHOOT HIM!"

"DANCE PARTY!"

"HAUNTED HOUSE! HAUNTED HOUSE!"

Mystical raised up a hand and the audience went silent. "Oh yeah, I remember now...all of us did go into a haunted house earlier before this episode. Riff recorded the whole thing on the camera...wait a sec. I'm sure this will be good enough to wrap up this episode. And before we start this video, next episode the people-to-be-tortured are the whole Hargreaves family, so that's Cain, Jizabel, Maryweather and Alexis!"

* * *

_"Oh crap..." Cain muttered as everyone searched the whole haunted house. "What's going to happen in here?"_

_"Well," Mystical spoke up. "Apparently there's Slenderman, some ghouls of sorts, mummies, bats, spiders...and some other stuff." the Authoress was reading a list of all the monsters that were supposed to be appearing as they walked through the haunted house. "Oh, and creepy voices, too."_

_"Why didn't you tell me Slender was going to be in here!?" Cassandra shouted at Mystical. The Head Priest of Delilah was geared with night goggles, flashlights, etc. "We're doomed if we run into him, I swear!"_

_"Shut up!" Cassian snapped at Cassandra. "Do you want the monsters to hear us?"_

_Thump._

_Everyone froze and looked around, before Jizabel sighed of relief._

_Big mistake._

_A flurry of bats came rushing at them, and everyone screamed (even the boys) in terror. _

_"Shoo! SHOO!" Mikalia shrieked. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"_

_"Hmmm..." Cain pondered. "Mikalia likes spiders but hates bats...fascinating."_

_The bats suddenly dissapeared, and the video screen started going full of static. _

_"Uh oh..." Riff trailed off. "GUYS, SLENDER'S AFTER US! RUN!" _

_"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGG GGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed again, running for their lives as they ran through cobwebs, ducked past a spider trying to nab them, and an evil cackle was heard as the screen went black._

* * *

**AN1: Reference to the Youtube series 'Demyx Time.'**

**AN2: For those of you who have NO idea of who Slenderman is, he's a faceless dude with tentacles sticking out of his neck. And in the games, he's out to kill you. Check wikipedia for more detail about it.**

**So, next episode should come up soon (the torturees being Maryweather, Alexis, Cain and Jizabel)...I hope. Please be patient, and please review! Thanks!**


	8. Episode 8

Episode 8

**_"WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN!?"_**Majority of the Count Cain: Godchild characters yelled at Mystical.

Mystical cringed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I got distracted with multi-chapter fics, and-"

"You used that excuse last time!" Moon snapped.

"I had a GAZILLION MULTI-CHAP FICS besides the ones in the 'Count Cain: Godchild' section that I had to work on! Do you know how HARD it is to manage all of them at the same time!?" Mystical roared back. "I am AWARE that I haven't updated this in eons of centuries, and I apologize for that! Now let me _continue_ on the with the show!"

Mystical sighed, before she turned to the audience. "I am very sorry about this...I mean, I just finished a multi-chapter fic just a couple days ago, and I'm already working on the sequel. On top of that, I have a multi-chap fanfic called 'Incarcerated' with Cassandra and Cain as the main characters, I've got 'Wonderland' that I'm rewriting, and another fic that's on hiatus until I finish Incarcerated. And at the same time, I have tons of other fics I need to continue updating quite often. Because of my stupidity of starting so many fics at the same time, I haven't updated this until now. I seriously apologize and hope this episode makes up for it."

"Wait, hold on a moment." Cassandra spoke up. "There is a fanfic in which Cain and I are both main characters?"

Jizabel nodded in response. "It's been up on the fanfiction website since two months ago, Gladstone. I'm surprised you haven't read it yet." He spoke. "You get deformed beyond repair. And I hurt you with a cleaver later on."

Cassandra cringed a bit. "Something tells me that fic is not going to end well..."

"Anyway," Mystical interjected, "The characters being tortured today are...Cain, Jizabel, Maryweather and Alexis! Give it up for them!"

The crowd cheered for Jizabel, Maryweather and Cain...and then started booing Alexis.

Alexis pouted at this. "How dare they...the stupid bastards..." He muttered quietly.

"First to be tortured is...Alexis, for being ever so rude to our audience!"

"Wait, WHAT!?" Alexis screamed. "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Cain shoved him into the Box and closed it before Alexis could protest anymore.

* * *

_"This just sucks." Alexis muttered quietly. "To be picked first just for offending the audience..."_

**_"Alexis, I will see that you suffer greatly. I've decided to let Cassandra do the torturing upon you for this one." _**_Mystical spoke._

**_"Really?" _**_Cassandra asked, sounding excited. **"YES! Finally, I get to kill the Cardmaster and take over Delilah-"**_

_**"Cassandra, you're not allowed to kill anyone on the show! I know you hate him that much, and that you're my number one favourite character, but I made everyone sign contracts that said you can't kill anyone on the show. Remember? Don't worry, you get to kill him in **__**another fic." **Mystical told him sternly. **"I'm not saying which one, otherwise I would be completely spoiling that fic and that would be terrible for everyone, especially you."**_

_**"...Fine." **Cassandra muttered quietly. _

_All of a sudden, Alexis found himself in a cage. With a tank of pirahnas right underneath. Alexis let out a gulp as Cassandra appeared, smiling a bit before he let go of the rope holding up the cage._

_"Have fun, Cardmaster." Cassandra spoke as Alexis fell into the pirahna tank. _

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_

_Alexis' screams were barely heard as the pirahnas all attacked him at once, biting at him as much as they could._

* * *

Alexis stumbled out of the Box, his clothes torn up by the pirahnas, before a security guard ushered him back to his seat. The Cardmaster's pants were even ripped to the point that at least half the audience could see his boxers (which had teddy bears on them). The audience burst into laughter, and Alexis growled a bit.

"Stupid audience..." He muttered under his breath.

"Next to be tortured are Cain and Jizabel!" Mystical spoke, grinning a bit.

Cain paled before he turned to Jizabel. "Truce?" He asked.

Jizabel nodded in response before the two screamed simultaneously and ran out of the room, chased by who-knows-how-many security guards.

Mystical face-palmed. "Darn it." She muttered quietly before she cleared her throat. "Well, then, I guess I'll just skip to Maryweather until they come back-"

"Why do I have to be tortured, too!?" Maryweather complained.

"Because, you're in Count Cain: Godchild. Therefore, you have to be."

"But Leroy, Lukia, Gilford and other characters are in Count Cain: Godchild too, and they haven't been tortured yet!"

"...Right." Mystical mentally face-palmed herself. "Fine...I'll delay it until next episode. Your argument is good enough." Maryweather just smiled a bit. "Anyway, audience, just keep waiting. Jizabel and Cain should be back soon-"

"LET US GO!" Cain and Jizabel were dragged into the room by security guards as they screamed.

"This is all your fault, Jizabel!" Cain snapped at Jizabel.

"How is it my fault? YOU'RE the one who SNEEZED!" Jizabel snapped back.

"Throw them in the Box." Mystical ordered the guards, who did so.

* * *

_"This just sucks." Cain muttered quietly. "This just really sucks."_

_"Why do I get tormented so much!?" Jizabel groaned. "It's not fair! I've been the most tortured out of all of the characters on the show!"_

_All of a sudden, a green plant with red berries on it appeared, hanging in the air above the two. Both brothers gulped a bit as Mystical spoke._

**_"Just do the kissing for the CainxJizabel fans or get tortured by pirahnas like Alexis. Your choice."_**

_"I hate you, brother." Jizabel muttered quickly before he and Cain started making out._

* * *

Riff, Cassandra, and Cassian were all seemingly mad/jealous/terrified as they watched the scene that all of the CainxJizabel fans were screaming at.

"I propose that we all gang up on Mystical after this episode is done and torment her somehow. Agreed?" Cassandra asked. Cassian and Riff both nodded in agreement as Cain and Jizabel went out of the Box, still glaring at each other.

"Um...that's pretty much all I had planned..." Mystical paused for a moment, before immediately taking sight of something. "Oh my gosh, it's Slender!" She shouted. **(AN)**

"WHERE!" Cassandra screamed, immediately taking out a paintball gun. "Where is he!? I will kill him!"

Mystical pointed at Slender, who was going onstage. Cassandra took aim and fired, paintballs hitting Slender, who was howling in pain.

"WAIT, IT'S JUST MEEEE! STTTOOOOOOOPPPPPP!" Oscar howled in pain, ripping off his Slenderman mask. "That's not fair! The security guards told me to wear this stupid thing and-" A paintball hit him in the face. "Ow..."

"Uh oh." Cassandra cringed a bit, before starting to run offstage. "Gotta go! Cassian, Riff, you do the tormenting of Mystical for me!"

"GET BACK HERE!" Oscar roared as he chased Cassandra offstage. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!"

"Um...anyway..." Mystical coughed a bit. "Next episode, Maryweather will definitely be tortured, and I'll have some new people being tortured too! See you next episode!"

* * *

**AN: Again, I do not own Slenderman. Whoever created it does.**

**I also really do apologize for not updating this fic for eons. I was busy with life in general, needed to work on other fics, and momentarily lost inspiration for this fic. I might not update this again until after I finish one of my multi-chapter fics such as 'Incarcerated,' so I hope you guys can be patient! Thanks!**


	9. Episode 9

Episode 9

Mystical sighed a bit, looking a tad frustrated.

"What's wrong?" White Owl asked her, slightly concerned. "You don't look too pleased..."

"It's just that...ugh...you know how there's reviewers for the show and stuff sometimes?" Mystical spoke up. "I specifically told them in the **warning** before episode **_ONE_** that they were **_NOT_ **allowed to **_SUBMIT_ _TRUTHS OR DARES_ **in their **_REVIEWS!_** And somebody actually did!" The Authoress facepalmed before continuing. "Don't get me wrong, whoever submitted it, but seriously, I DID warn you that I would delete it if I saw one. I can't make this into a Truth or Dare fic because of the Fanfiction User Guidelines, so please don't do it again! It would save me from some frustration, and again, I did warn you."

"Didn't the reviewer have some decent suggestions, though?" Owl asked.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't really have Alexis eat any of Jizabel's organ collection; Jizabel would attempt to gouge out my eyes for that, and getting Jizabel to get a haircut and to cosplay Riff is like trying to write a Mikalia and Cain romance fic; you just can't accomplish it sucessfully...at ALL." Mystical responded. "Although, I could do the second one...but that will have to wait for a future episode, I already have something planned for Maryweather this episode." The Authoress ended, before turning to the audience. "Sorry about all the fuss and stuff, but now, let us welcome in our people-to-be-tortured; the Coffinmaker, Maryweather, Leroy, and Cassandra!"

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Leroy screamed as he struggled with the ropes tying him to his chair. The Coffinmaker had been tied up with chains rather than ropes (he kept destroying the ropes with those metallic claws of his, so Mystical had to get security to restrain him and tie him up with metal chains instead). "I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH HIM!" When Leroy shouted him, he gave a glare towards Cassandra.

"Just...great..." Cassandra muttered sarcastically. "This is just great. I'm stuck with him..." He glared back at Leroy when he said the word 'him.'

"First to be tortured is..." Mystical paused for dramatic effect before speaking. "Coffinmaker!"

"Crap." Coffinmaker muttered before he was pushed into the Box.

* * *

_"What's going to happen to me now? Get burned to death like in volume 3?" Coffinmaker asked, looking obviously annoyed._

_"Nah," Mystical replied, walking over to him with two glass bottles in her hand. "I just wanted to see if you can balance these on the back of your hands. Of course, you have to put both hands on the table first," She spoke, pointing to a nearby table. "And then I put the the bottles here on the back of your hands, and we see if you can balance them. No long, painful death involved."_

_Coffinmaker sighed before sitting down at the table. Mystical smiled, and carefully put one bottle each on the back of both his hands. It took a few moments for the bottles to be completely balanced, but the Coffinmaker managed it._

_"There. I proved it. What now?" He asked._

_Mystical just simply started walking away. "Just keep balancing them!" She spoke. "And by the way, I took those from Oscar's secret alcohol stash that he keeps in his room; you might not want to break them. See ya!" With that, Mystical dissapeared._

_"What!?" The Coffinmaker shouted, completely furious. "Well, this is just great..." He muttered._

_"MYSTICAL! WHERE'S MY BEER! I KNOW YOU TOOK IT-" Oscar shouted as he ran into the room-_

_Just in time to see the beer bottles crash to the ground. The Coffinmaker looked at the broken bottles, before looking at Oscar._

_"Oh crap." Coffinmaker muttered, just before the two started a fist fight._

* * *

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The crowd shouted as the two wrestled onscreen. Eventually Mystical sent security guards into the Box to drag the two out.

"That was good." Mystical spoke, grinning. "Now, next up we have Maryweather!"

"Fooey!" Maryweather shouted as she was dragged into the Box.

* * *

_Mystical put a plate with a vanilla cake on it in front of Maryweather. "Go on," Mystical encouraged her. "Eat."_

_Maryweather looked at the Authoress suspiciously. "You didn't put anything in it, did you?" She asked skeptically._

_"Me? Whoa, no!" Mystical responded. "I wouldn't be that stupid to stick love potion into a cake, especially for a person your age. That would be bad."_

_"I'm not eating it."_

_Mystical frowned. "Fine then. Get eaten by the wolves instead." She snapped her fingers, and three snarling wolves appeared, ready to bite the heck out of the ten-year-old girl._

_"OKAY, I'LL EAT IT! GET THOSE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!" Maryweather exclaimed. As Mystical made the wolves dissapear, she immediately took a bite out of the cake. Then she started screaming and running around the room like mad._

_"HOT, HOT, HOT!" Maryweather shouted. "HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT-"_

_SPLOOOSH! A blast of water soaked her entirely out of nowhere, and Maryweather was now sopping wet._

* * *

Maryweather marched out of the Box, frustrated as Mystical smiled.

"Red-hot chili sauce in vanilla cake? Check." Mystical looked at a paper in her hand. "Oh, now we have Leroy, who has-" She stared at the empty chair where Leroy was once sitting in. "Escaped somehow..." She trailed off awkwardly. "Oh well. I guess he can be tortured next episode, so I'll skip to Cassandra. No, I'm not going to throw him into the Box, first off."

Cassandra sighed of relief at that statement.

"Instead, I'm going to show you a videotape of him writing in his super-secret journal! He says everything that he writes in his journal aloud, so-"

"NOOO!" Cassandra screamed, mortified as a video began to play onscreen.

* * *

_"Dear journal." Cassandra started as he wrote in his journal. "Today has been quite stressful, and I need to do something more civilized than thinking of poking this pen into a midgetty eye. A certain midgetty eye of a certain midget." _

_He sat down on a nearby chair as he continued to write. "Never mind about Cassian. I noticed that the Cardmaster recently obtained some bald spots. Apparently, Cain decided to replace his conditioner with hair removal cream, which was highly effective." Cassandra chuckled a bit. "Cain was doing a favour; the Cardmaster was getting bald anyway."_

_He looked around suspiciously. "I have a feeling someone is watching me, but I can't figure out who, and that's not good. I should keep this entry short." He stood up, and paced about the room. Out of nowhere, a long piece of wood slid out near the floor, just as Cassandra was about to take another step. He tripped, and let out a scream as he fell._

_"WHAT THE #$$# WAS THAT!?" Cassandra shouted in frustration, throwing aside the journal. He then caught sight of the camera. "YOU...MYSTICAL!" He screamed, lunging at it, and the screen went blank._

* * *

"I didn't know Alexis was getting bald!" Oscar exclaimed.

"Since when did you start balding?" Moon asked Alexis in the audience.

"Shut up." Alexis muttered in response.

Cassandra glared at Mystical as the Authoress just gave an innocent smile. "You will pay for that." Cassandra growled. "I swear it."

"Anyway, that's all for today, so I hope to see you guys next episode!" Mystical spoke, before the lights onstage went out.

* * *

**Author note: And thus, ends episode 9.**

**TO ALL READERS: I have informed you guys in the very first chapter, that you're not supposed to submit truths or dares in the reviews, otherwise I will delete them! Please, please don't submit stuff like that, I have my reasons. See the Authors note in chp. 1 for details. Thanks for reading! **


End file.
